


tell me what your waiting for

by orphan_account



Category: BROCKHAMPTON (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Mutual Pining, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 03:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21487318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: emotional intelligence is neither joba or matt's strong suit but they've known each other for too long to let each other go.it's just gonna take time.(lowercase intended)
Relationships: Kevin Abstract | Ian Simpson/Matt Champion, Matt Champion/JOBA | Russell Boring
Kudos: 17





	tell me what your waiting for

matt's known about his feelings for joba for awhile now, but he's known about joba's feelings for him for much longer. not that the other boy has made it known between them, oh no, it's just that matt has known joba for half his life now and knew exactly how his best friend acted when he liked someone. but as joba's crushes came and went, and his did too honestly, matt never imagined himself on the the receiving side of this kind of affection from his best friend.

not that it's any different from how they normally acted around each other, interestingly enough. even though joba never dared to be as close as he usually was when they were on their own or with the gang, he has always been by matt's side and didn't give two fucks as to what people thought of it. they were practically inseparable from the moment they met, joba had an energy to him that matt gravitated towards. the older boy stood out among everyone, even when he was having his darkest days, and matt couldn't remember a single time he's ever not wanted to be in his presences. and although he never claimed to have a type, joba was everything he ever wanted. wise, funny, confident, openhearted, and willing to be by his side through thick and thin. he saw the dumb looks people gave him when they were walking together and he never cared, no, he'll continue laughing in their face for caring so much about their friendship. matt honestly admired that about him, loved him for it even, since joba was his refuge from all the hurt he felt in his life.

and it's funny, really, how quickly the older boy who strut around school, knowing he's the shit, could be reduced so quickly by even the slightest of praise or the briefest exchanges of intimacy. 

it was cute. _joba_ was cute. he made matt feel all types of warm, fuzzy feelings that rot out his guts every time he sees him, it didn't help that they were together almost every single day. not that he minded, joba and kevin were the only two people matt could spend every single day with without pulling a disappearing act, but where he and kevin fooled around once or twice in the past (and never again), joba was always a precious angel in his mind to remain untouched. he was kind, generous, positive, everything matt was not and, for some reason, they had a bond unlike _anyone_ else in the group and he refuses to ruin it by pouncing on god's error that is the blatant crush joba has on him. besides, matt wasn't the best partner in the world and he couldn't bear the thought of letting his guard down only to get his heart broken when joba realizes matt's nothing like he presents himself and dumps him for the next person. maybe it's selfish, but he didn't give two fucks. matt has had his heart broken plenty of times before and has broke many hearts of his own, so even if he has to hide his emotions and wait until joba's crush blows over, he will. joba was an amazing person, probably the brightest person he knows, and he would never want to be the one to hurt him. besides, matt is great at detaching himself from his emotions, so he can definitely play it cool and joba probably won't suspect a thing. 

\--

except, joba's not stupid. matt knows joba knows when he's hiding shit, right? joba furrowed his eyebrows as he watched matt talk about some dumb assignment he didn't want to do with a cigarette hanging out between his lips. he seriously didn't give two shits if he was blatantly staring down at the other teen. something was up with his best friend and he could sense it, but he couldn't really put his finger on it. it made him anxious. very anxious. all he's been doing since they stepped out to smoke was roll the edges of his sweatshirt between his fingertips, hard enough to unfurl the fabric and ruin his clothing. he noticed he's been doing that since he was inside and the cig was supposed to calm him down, but then matt decided to follow him out, much to joba's dismay. not that he doesn't want to hang out with his best friend, but the last joke kevin cracked about knowing how matt fucks pushed him over the edge and he really didn't want to look at either of them for 10-15 minutes. god didn't give a fuck though and matt was out the door behind him before he could even finish saying "me too".

it's his fault really.

he's the one who's been breathing down matt's neck, he's the one who can't keep his eyes off of him, he's the one who sighs into matt's touch, he's the one who holds on a little too long when they dab each other up, he's the one who looks up to matt even though matt's nearly a foot shorter than him and a year below him, he's the one who copies off of matt's homework all the time, he's the one who curls up to matt after an episode, _he's_ the parasite. he's obsessed even though he knows matt likes his space and his freedom, so it's his fault if matt's been acting a little bit more aloof than normal. and joba knows how outward about his feelings but he just can't fucking help it. in fact, he's not ashamed. he loves matt. he always have, since they were kids. half of his disciplinary record are referrals he got from defending matt from their peers in middle school. when his sister wasn't there, joba always slotted himself into the role of "big brother" for the younger boy and swore he would do whatever he could to see his goofy ass smile.

nothing's changed.

of course, accept for the fact that they're older now and he's tired of playing these games. he's tired of the no homos, the marriage jokes, every inside joke they had between them invented purely to dance and side-step around the truth, the true feelings they harbor between them and, for some reason, continue to ignore.

or at least, that's how he reads the situation. there's a very big possibility that matt doesn't return his feelings at all and that terrified joba beyond comprehension. so much so that he tried to compensate by acting like nothing was up, even if he couldn't stop thinking about matt, what matt's doing, what matt feels about him, what matt wants in the world, who matt's with, and what life would be like if they could be like if they were actually together. 

_fuck, i sound crazy,_ joba thought, looking away too quickly when matt finally returns his steady gaze. _yeah, it's his fault that matt's acting weird because he's acting weird too. normally, he could contain himself better than this. _

"dude, you're the best," matt said gratefully, passing the cigarette back to him. it wasn't ashed and half smoked by now, must've been stressed out about bio or some shit like that. "thanks for letting me bum off of you, i haven't got paid yet, ya know?" 

joba reached for the filter and gave an exaggerated shrug that was way too forced, hoping it passed for a reasonable response. matt, being the observant man he is, did not let it past him. joba loved that about him normally but right now he hates it because the distant, inquisitive look was extremely adorable and making him stare. it didn't help that it was an unusually hot day for december in texas and matt was blushing from the heat, making the freckles that dotted his skin all the more prominent. it was cute. _very, very_ cute.

"you seem a little distracted," matt tried, nodding at the cigarette still in joba's hand, nowhere near his lips. 

"n-no, i'm just a little distracted today," joba replied hastily before fully processing what the other said. he cringed at matt's snort, taking a long drag from the cig. "fuck man, you got me."

matt mirrored the shrug joba gave him earlier, cracking a grin that made joba's heart pound. "what can i say. anyways, what's up, man? what's bothering you?"

there it is, out in the open. an acknowledgement of the tension between them. joba was abashed at the phrasing, especially since matt's been the one acting odd the past few weeks. 

"me? bro, what's bothering you," he asserted, flicking the filter on the ground. that was bold. _very_ bold. and perhaps a little aggressive.

the only indication of matt's reaction was the eyebrow he quirked at joba's rebuttal. _yep,_ it was all out in the open. joba tried to search matt's face for any other reaction and matt was trying to figure out if joba was mad or hurt. either way, they couldn't read each other for once and it pained them both. it was a battle of willpower and pride, something they normally put aside for one another but for some reason felt too attacked to do so now.

matt sighed, but all joba heard the sounds of his sword and shield dropping. matt's blank face was replaced by an apologetic frown that made joba regretful for pushing despite himself. "listen, it's not you-"

joba looked at his feet and toed at the cigarette butt he threw on the ground moments earlier. he thought it would be worse to be rejected with insults and mean words, but the fact that he wasn't getting anything more personal outside of the usual treatment matt gave other people devastated him more than any scenarios he made up about this moment, so he turned to walk back as he interrupted the speech, "yeah, yeah, it's _me._ you're just not ready for a relationship right now. you don't have to give me the run down, just fucking say you don't like me and let's go."

"actually, smart ass," matt barked, grabbing joba's wrist and pulling him back before he could escape the torture. "i do like you."

_what?_

"i said i like you. also, your voice just cracked. what are you, fucking 12?" classic deflection.

matt loosened his hold, stroking his thumb on the inside of joba's hand, shyly shifting his eyes away from the older teen to the ground. his voice was calm, barely audible above the commotion of mid-day suburban houston, but loud enough for only joba to hear. and his words were one thing, but the soothing presence of his thumb made him shiver even under the brutal texas sun. it was soft, gentle, nothing like the love taps he normally was on the receiving end of and when joba's gaze trailed upwards he found that matt was looking at him all soft too. 

he damn near melted on the spot, but he could still see the gears moving in matt's head. "what's the catch?"

"the catch?" matt sighed, dropping joba's hand to rub his temples. "well, i...i-i just honestly think i'm going to hurt you if we take that chance. i like you, joba, like really, really like you, but i guess i'm just scared of commitment, really. you're my best friend, my life-partner even, and i don't want this to blow up in my face if i end up being a horrible person for you. i mean, you know me, i'm moody, distant, i don't want to end up hurting you if i'm not what you wanted. i-i just need time."

"i can wait. i will wait for you," joba declared, puffing his chest ever so slightly in confidence. it took him this long of being patient to get the confession he so badly wanted, so now that he knows what took matt so long, he'd wait as long as he needs to for them to finally be together. he smiled down at matt, a huge one that he couldn't help even if tried, and matt returned it. it'll take some time, but they'll make it work.

**Author's Note:**

> please follow my tumblr @jabari-mi-paddy and leave a comment/drop kudos! i hope ya'll liked it c:


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